What neuroflexibility feels like

I love snow. Three very divisive words. And it’s a much safer sentiment to utter aloud today in a midwest September than it could ever be in March. I am no longer a woman of faith, but if I were making a new religion, the first snowfall would be one of our high holy days. 

I love the way it quiets everything down. I love the sense of a fresh start. I love the way it shines in the dark, clinging sometimes to branches and banisters and gets stuck in my hair. And then it fades away. We are never quite sure how long it will last. 

The neuroplastic window of ketamine feels a lot like that. Newly fallen snow. I am not the first person to think so. Michael Pollan writes and speaks about the snow metaphor often, crediting Dutch researcher Mendel Kaelen. Robin Carhart-Harris gets in on the image as well. 

The story goes like this. Think of the brain as a hill that’s covered in snow. At first, sleds go down all sorts of paths covering the whole hill. But slowly over time, the routes converge into just a few major tracks down the hill. Sleds are pulled more and more into the well-worn paths and it becomes hard, even impossible for a sled to take a new path down the hill. Then psychedelics come along, a fresh coat of snow. And suddenly new paths become possible again. Sleds find new routes and explore new terrain. (Paraphrased from How to Change Your Mind, Pollan, 2018)

I do many KAP consults a month. I am often asked this question: what do you mean, neuroplastic window? What does it feel like?

It feels like you have more “choice” available to you. Not more choices or options, but more ability to say yes or no to your options, whether that be thoughts or actions. 

Here is another helpful metaphor; for, with altered states, it's all we really have. 

It’s as if we eat at the same restaurant every night and that restaurant has a menu with 10 items available. We know we could order anything off the menu, but we have been stuck defaulting to the first 3 dishes. Hypothetically we could order the 6th or 7th or 10th. They are right there, we know how restaurants work. But we just…don’t. We want to try those foods, we think they would be good for us, but when the server comes we blurt out “I’ll have the 2” and feel stuck. 

This window of neuroflexibility makes items 4, 5 and 6 more choosable in our subjective experience. We might even catch ourselves ordering them automatically, no hesitation at all. And though we may not be ready for the number 9, we can see more clearly what’s made that dish feel beyond us. 

As I’ve explored the psychedelic space, I have come to appreciate ketamine for its practicality. Can you be blasted into the cosmos and suddenly feel deep oneness with all sentient beings throughout time for about 60 mins? Yes. And when you return, can it make it easier to get out of bed in the morning without hitting snooze 7 times? Also yes. Can it make it easier to pick up an unfinished craft or call a friend before scrolling through youtube shorts for an hour? Yes! Again. All are options that were always on the menu, but remained just out of reach. 

For some, the snow stays, or stays soft enough. Their life shifts. They pick new, more desirable paths down the hill and are content with 5 of the 10 menu items remaining orderable. We don’t usually see these folks for booster sessions for months, or a year, or their work with Ketamine may be complete. 

For others the downhill routes can get crunchy and treacherous again, and they get sick of reverting back to the same two meals. For those in this category, knowing they can reliably and safely access this reset when they need it is life changing. Even life saving. 

And yet, even that relief is subtle in its own way. It's still a hill, not a mountain, nor an open plain. It’s a menu with 10 choices. It’s snow, bringing freshness and stillness to the familiar. 

Autumn Starks is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Internal Family Systems Certified IFS Therapist, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), special interest in Complex PTSD and other disorders resulting from religious trauma and spiritual abuse, Certified in Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy through the Integrative Psychiatry Institute, and is the founder of Starks Therapy Group in Oak Park, IL where she partners with Richard Clark, CRNA, APRN, to provide ketamine-assisted psychotherapy and they host together the Ketamine Collective for therapists.

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