Why Fit Is So Important: How To Find A Therapist Part 1
When searching for a therapist you will start to hear this word getting tossed around- fit. People seeking therapy and therapists use it alike. But what are we really talking about and why is it so important?
The first thing I want to stress is that true fit is not sameness. If you are a woman or in your 50s or if you identify as LGBTQ, you do not need someone with the same descriptors to have a good fit in therapy. I understand, sameness can be comforting. We feel like they just "get" us. And sometimes there are specialties that you are seeking in a therapist that may cause there to be more "sameness" by default. For example, if you are looking for someone trained in postpartum depression, you are more likely to find a female therapist.
But sameness can be misleading. Sameness tends to lie on the very surface level. Any skilled therapist will hear you well and seek to understand you deeply. But your life events, thoughts and emotions are unique. No amount of similarities on the surface will cause a person to "get" you more or less. In fact, it can even get in the way if either of you are assuming understanding because you hold the same quality or descriptor.
So if fit doesn't lie in sameness, what is it and where can you find it?
Fit can be found in process and in relationship. Fit is about confidence. Ultimately, fit is about trust.
Do I trust this person enough to really let them in? Do I believe their process (therapy methods) and style (personality) will help me? Do I trust them enough to let them push me past my comfort zone when I need it?
Fit is essential to effective therapy. Why? Because if the fit is bad you will either stop going or go forever and feel stuck. Fit is about finding the balance between safety and risk. This brings growth and keeps you showing up, ready to go deeper and get more.
Here is my follow up post about how to find the right fit! Leave a comment below about what has worked for you in seeking the right therapist!
- Autumn Starks, LCSW (about)
Founder and Psychotherapist, Starks Therapy Group
DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this post is to keep individuals informed of Starks Therapy Group's events, provide useful information related to mental health issues and provide thoughtful content related to self care and mental health. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any mental illness. This post is not monitored daily and is used for information sharing only. If you wish to communicate directly with someone at Starks Therapy Group, please call 708-689-3055. If you have a medical emergency, please call 911.